Women + Gay Bar = Not Much Fun

by Isaiah Webster III

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a gay bar and had to fight through a maze of straight women to get a drink or a glance at a hot stripper. On many occasions, I’ve commented to my friends that we should ban women from our bars or charge them double to discourage their attendance. My rationale is simple — there are far more straight bars than gay ones; and going out should not be about having to endure all the things I hate about straight bars!

Cocktail, a gay bar in Chicago’s Boystown, is in the mainstream press for its policy of denying admittance to bachelorette parties. According to the bar’s owner, the policy is in place because the presence of brides to be is a unwelcome reminder that gay couples can’t get married. Even though the policy has been in place awhile, the owner said it is getting attention now because of Proposition 8 and the broader fight for marriage equality.

Though this rationale seems odd to me, I was surprised that The Chicago Tribune took such a big interest in the door policy of a gay bar!

I like Cocktail’s policy, but I don’t like the rationale. We need not make any excuses for not wanting drunk, squealing women coming into our bars to “have fun” with the hot gay men. If they love straight men so much, then they can “have fun” with them and put up with the groping and sexist comments that go along with it. A gay bar should not be a circus for straight women, where they come to feel free and act in a manner that would get them thrown out of their own clubs. We don’t need the tiaras, the drunken drama, the unwanted photo requests and the obligatory cock necklaces. Lord knows we have enough drama of our own…and we have our God-given dicks to keep us amused.

I think Cocktail is well within its right to turn away those annoying bachelorette parties; and I would gladly frequent any gay bar that banned women completely.